The Big C … I Has It

If you’ve been following this blog, you know I’ve been battling a lot of health issues. Unfortunately, life has decided to throw one more curve ball at me.

The Big CLet’s start the story a few months ago (coincidentally when I last posted here – sorry about the absence), when I visited my gyno because of abnormal bleeding. After a an ultrasound showed a mass inside, my doc decided to do a biopsy…a very painful biopsy, but a necessary one.

I’ve also been trying to get my heart catheter done – you know, the one I was first supposed to have at Thanksgiving last year, but thanks to incompetence by a now-departed scheduling assistant at my cardiologist’s office, it kept not happening.

Meanwhile my heart has gotten worse, to the point where I can’t walk or stand more than 10 minutes or so before I feel like I’m going to pass out.

But I digress.

Ok, fast forward to yesterday, when I went to my cardiologist’s office to have another round of pre-surgery labs done, only to find out that my third date to have this done was being postponed again. This time it was because the cath lab I was supposed to have it in suddenly closed last week.


Really starting to feel like the universe is trying to prevent me from having my heart worked on. But it’s become even more important to get it done, as it’s the stepping stone to taking care of another issue that reared its ugly head yesterday afternoon.

See, after the cardiologist, and a yummy lunch at Tijuana Flats, I headed to my second appointment with my gyno. His office had called saying it was very important that I come in asap for my biopsy results. I figured that couldn’t be good, but I had no idea what he was going to say to me yesterday afternoon.

I have endometrial cancer.

I know, right? It’s not like it’s not enough that I have MS, a heart problem, and damaged lungs and kidneys, but now I have to deal with cancer.

Who in a past life did I so royally piss off?

I spent most of yesterday crying, and reading up on the cancer. It’s apparently is the third most common cause of gynecologic cancer death (behind ovarian and cervical cancer), if you believe Wikipedia. But if it is caught early enough, which my gyno thinks we have, it can be treated by a full abdominal hysterectomy. That means they would remove my uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries, and hopefully find we got it all and it hasn’t spread outside of the reproductive organs.

I’ve been reassured that they can do all this through my belly button, so it won’t leave a big scar. At this point, I don’t really care about more scars (my one from the heart surgery in 2012 is particularly huge anyways), but as a bonus of the surgery, I won’t have my horrible periods anymore.

But, fuck. Cancer. After all I’ve been fighting the past few years, I’m not sure where I’m going to find the strength to get through this, too.

It’s really scary, because I lost both my mom and dad to cancer within a year of each other, and it wasn’t a pretty fight for either of them.

The first round of my fight will be to meet with a new gyno who specializes in oncology (cancer), which will happen in the next few weeks. Then more tests to determine the size and scope of what we’re fighting…then the surgery.

But I can’t do the cancer surgery until I have my heart surgery, because my heart isn’t currently strong enough to deal with a hysterectomy.

It’s an awful, vicious circle of life I’m riding right now, right?

If you read this far, thank you. With my family gone, my friends are the ones I’m going to lean on during this continued fight. You’ve all been so wonderfully supportive so far, and I’m sorry I have to ask for more.

But I’m really scared and your words of encouragement and love will be even more needed now. Prayers, good vibes…whatever you got, please send them my way.

I’ll keep you updated on my progress here. If you want to know when I post a new update, follow me on Twitter at @zengrrl, or at my Facebook page for this site.

I’d also like to give a quick shout out to my friend Carol, who tirelessly gets me to all of my doctors and held my hand for the diagnosis yesterday. Also to Rhonda, who has had my back for over 25 years.

The Big C… in the words of Robert Downey, Jr, when life kicks you in the butt, you kick it right back in the face. So look out cancer, I’m about to start kicking hard.

Thanks again for your support!!

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About zengrrl

I'm Michelle Snow, the writer and creator of Zengrrl. I write about travel, entertainment, women's issues, health, body positivity, and more, both for this blog and freelance. I have also authored/co-authored four guidebooks on Orlando and Florida. If you aren't already following me, the links are below, as well as on the top right of this page. Thanks!

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Comments: 6

  1. Kelly Johnston April 4, 2014 at 7:08 am

    Hang in there Girl! Wisconsonites are STRONG!
    Kelly Johnston wrote this post…The Big C … I Has ItMy Profile

  2. Lisa Wilk @Taste Cook Sip April 3, 2014 at 11:14 pm

    Michelle, I’m very sorry to read the full story here, sending you lots of love, prayers for healing, positive thoughts and waving my magic wand for your speedy recovery. One step at a time.

  3. Nancy D. Brown April 2, 2014 at 11:52 pm

    So sorry to read this! Sending good thoughts your way.
    Nancy D. Brown wrote this post…Movie Review: Next Year JerusalemMy Profile

  4. Moe a.k.a. @biggirlblue April 2, 2014 at 10:27 pm

    So sorry you are being bombarded with more health issues and stress. Hopefully they can get your appts straight and the team can attack this head on. Put some steel toe boots on!

  5. Leigh Ann Sykes April 2, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    So sorry you have to go through all if this. I have no words, but will be thinking of you!!!! You can fight this!!!!!

  6. Tina Krueger April 2, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Michelle,…it is hard to know what to say. I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Fight with everything you’ve got! You can beat it!!